To the Rescue
by HathorGirl
Summary: What if Jolinar had survived, and had fled from the SGC? What happens when Jolinar arrive at the Tok'ra base and learn Martouf/Lantash are missing, and she's the only one who can rescue them? Will Sam allow it? Will she remain Jolinar's host? S/J/M/L
1. An Unpleasant Surprise

~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice

* * *

><p>Sam POV<p>

I slowly wake up. My head hurts like hell and I don't remember anything that's happened. I carefully open my eyes, but the light makes my head hurt more and I quickly close them again. I did see enough to recognize my surroundings. I am in the infirmary.

"Doctor, she's coming around." Someone says.

I try to sit up, try to move my hands, but I can't. I realize I am restrained!

"What's happened?" I croak, my throat dry. I open my eyes a tiny crack to see Janet now standing over me.

"Sam?" She sounds unsure.

"Yeah."

She gives me a drink of water and I feel marginally better.

"You gave us quite a scare..." Janet says.

"What happened to me? My head hurts..." Suddenly it comes back to me. "The _ashrak_. Wait...the Goa'uld in me? Jo...Jolinar?"

Janet sighs. "We got the ashrak. He was hurting you with some kinda ring that sent out a light beam. Teal'c and the Colonel got there in time, stopping him before he could finish the job. You was unconscious for quite a while, though." She clears her voice. "The Goa'uld inside you...we thought it was dead, but...I'm afraid it's not. It seems to still be unconscious, though."

"So that's why I'm restrained..."

"Yes, can't risk it waking up and taking control, then going off doing who knows what." She sounds apologetic.

I nod, slowly. My head still hurts like a thousand suns are exploding behind my eyelids, but at least the light isn't making it worse anymore. Strangely, part of me is glad the parasite isn't dead. I remember now, Jolinar tried to protect me against the ashrak, tried to let me live, even if it meant its own life. "I understand."

I look around, seeing two MPs standing near my bed. The door opens and my team comes through, followed by General Hammond. Janet or someone else must have called them here.

"How is she, doctor?"

"Awake, as you can see, and doing better."

"Captain?" Hammond asks.

"My head hurts, sir, but I'm ok otherwise."

He nods. "What about the parasite?" He asks Janet.

"Still unconscious, but growing stronger, I think."

"Can you remove it?"

"No, I'm afraid not. As you know, we did not have much success last time we tried, and it would be harder this time."

"Why? A snake's a snake, isn't it?" O'Neill says.

"The one in Kawalski was young, and infant. This is an adult. Not only is it larger, but it would presumably also have stronger control over the host body when awake..."

"Well, it's not awake right now." O'Neill points out. "Is it?"

"No, but Captain Carter isn't strong enough for an operation right now, and even if she is before the parasite awakes, there is something else as well. The Goa'uld was badly damaged in the attack, but it is healing at an amazing rate. As it heals, and regrows its body, parts of it seems to, well, grow into Captain Carter's body. It has sent out many connections and tendrils as well, presumably in order to better control the host."

"So much for its assurances it would leave her."

"For what it's worth, I think this is an automatic process, not a conscious effort. For all I know it may still be able to leave her - _eventually_. But it's making it harder for us to remove it."

"So, for now at least, it stays."

"Hey, I'm here too!" I tell them, more than a bit annoyed they're talking as if I'm not here.

"Sorry, Sam." Daniel smiles at me, a little nervously.

"She really _is_ Sam right now." Janet assures them. "The Goa'uld isn't awake. See?" She points at a display beside the bed, showing two sets of brain waves.

My friends stay to talk for a short time before they leave. I get the distinct feeling they're not feeling comfortable around me. It's an unpleasant feeling and it makes me think. Even if Jolinar actually leaves me, will they ever trust me again? Will they ever be casual and normal around me, or will I be the one who had a snake in her head?

* * *

><p>The head ache slowly diminishes. Pain killers apparently do very little for me right now, as does any kinds of drugs. I need massive amounts for them to have an effect. Jolinar apparently filters it out automatically, and the naquadah does something as well.<p>

I stay in the infirmary, for almost two full days more, restrained. I am not a happy camper. Regularly someone will monitor the Goa'uld in me, I suspect there is a great many who is excited at this opportunity for more data on this species. So would I be, I guess, were it not for the fact that I happen to be the host of the creature they happily study.

I have little to do but think, and I am worried about my future.

First, I am a host to a Goa'uld...or _Tok'ra_ as it calls itself. Is Jolinar speaking the truth? Is it/he not a regular Goa'uld? I tend to believe that, as I have not been suppressed to the degree I thought I would. The Goa'uld..._Tok'ra_ has not punished me for anything, not caused me pain, and actually tried talking to me. That is NOT how I think of a Goa'uld. Also, Jolinar really _did_ fight to protect me, to save me and was willing to die for me!

So, I am not really worried Jolinar is a traditional Goa'uld, and suspect this about the Tok'ra is at least...mostly true.

Second, can I trust Jolinar will actually leave me? I have no way to know, though he? sounded sincere, so...well, I will wait to make a judgment on this.

Third, yes, this is actually the truly bad one. Because Jolinar may not get a chance to leave me. It is _much_ more likely we will both spend the rest of our lives as guinea pigs for Kinsey and his goons. The rest of lives that will be significantly shorter than they should have been, though perhaps not as short as we will then wish them to be.

I sigh to myself, and think of how to get out of this problem.

Suddenly, I feel...a presence in my head. Is Jolinar waking up?

~**Yes, I am, and I have been following your listing of woes for the last few minutes.**~

"You're reading my mind?"

~**No, you are shouting at me, mentally, though I ****_could_**** read your mind if I wanted to. Which I don't, unless I absolutely have to. Besides, could you not talk out loud? Those guards over there are looking at you funny.**~

I take a deep breath, then answers in my mind. ~OK, yes. Not that I trust you not to go through my mind. You clearly did earlier, taking stuff and using it against my friends!~

~**That was, unfortunately, necessary, in order to blend in.**~

I snort. ~Yeah, great job you did of that! Now see where that got us!~

I feel frustration from Jolinar. ~**I...apologize. This was not my intention. And I did mean it when I said I would leave you.**~

~Yeah, well, I suspect you won't get a chance to prove me wrong there...~

~**No, I am aware of that. Your reasoning about those people from...NID? unfortunately sounds sound.** ~

~I know.~

~**We need to get out of here.**~

~I seriously doubt Hammond is going to let us go, so you can forget about your plan to go offworld and find another host, or whatever it was you offered before.~

~**He and your team are just going to let you be taken by the NID and experimented on? Tortured?**~

~They don't have a choice!~ I still feel anger, though. Anger towards the NID, towards Jolinar because he is the cause of this, anger towards the ashrak...and anger towards Hammond and my team. I feel like hitting something.

~**Calm down, your unstable emotions are causing havoc with the chemicals in your body, and are affecting me as well!**~

~Sorry.~ I say, not meaning it. Jolinar is clearly not fooled, but ignores it.

~**Another thing. I'm not male, I'm female.**~

~_Female?_~

~**Yes, that is, to be completely honest, symbiotes are genderless, so I guess I am an it, but I have always only had female hosts, and I think of myself as female.**~

~OK...female then.~ Makes sense actually, she _does_ seem female, somehow. ~Wait, what about the host I found you in? He was clearly male!~

~**And so a good place to hide, besides sometimes the situation is such that you cannot be 'picky' in what host you take.**~

~Yeah, I suppose that's true. I still can't believe you actually can find anyone who wants to be a host!~

~**It is difficult, I have to admit that. However, sometimes a person agrees to be a host in return for ****being healed or cured from an injury or illness. Some will also join because they have nothing left, and nowhere to go, to start a fresh life. Some will join to fight the Goa'uld, and a small number will join simply to save another being who is in need. However, I cannot guarantee it will be easy or quick to find a new host, but I promise to do my best, and let you leave.**~

~Well, that's appreciated, but as I said earlier, we probably won't get the chance. No one will help us or let us go.~

~**Then we must escape on our own.**~

~Are you crazy? I'm _not_ going AWOL, and I am _certainly_ not going to help an alien of the same species as our worst enemy, to escape!~

~**You would rather stay here? Be used for experimentation by the NID? Die from torture? I assure you, it is not a good death! I also assure you they will learn ****_nothing_**** about the Tok'ra from me. I would rather die than betray my people!**~

~Of course I don't want the NID to get their hands on me, and I don't think I want them to know about your people either!~

~**What do you want then? I can kill us both, if you wish that. Unfortunately, I am currently too weak to leave you without killing you, otherwise I would offer to do that, even if I cannot get another host.**~

I am shocked! ~You would do that? Leave me to die?~

~**Yes, I will not remain in an unwilling host.**~


	2. Decisions

~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice

* * *

><p>Janet had been alerted by the guards and knows that Jolinar is awake. She has informed General Hammond. He is here again, together with my team.<p>

"Who are we talking to?"

"Me, Captain Carter - but I guess there's no way for you to tell, so I'll just give Jolinar control. I guess she's the one you want to talk to anyway." I tell them, feeling frustrated. ~How do I do this?~

~**Mentally step back - or I can just grab control, but that is less pleasant, especially when we are not blended, and it is considered impolite unless the situation calls for it.**~

I try to do as Jolinar says, and she takes control, flashing my eyes. ~I don't think they liked that.~ I observe. ~They look scared.~

~**Well, look down and close your eyes next time we change control, then.**~

I realise that is usually done by the Tok'ra, to show the change of control, and to hide the eye flash - and to help with any temporary disorientation after getting control. I realise the Tok'ra really _does_ take turns being in control! The host and the symbiote taking turns! ~I will remember.~

"**Hello. I am Jolinar of Malkshur - of the Tok'ra. You wish to speak with me, General Hammond?**"

"Ah, yes..." He is clearly affected by the situation.

"**Then, how may I be of assistance?**"

* * *

><p>Hammond and my team stayed for some time, asking a lot of questions of Jolinar, which she mostly didn't answer.<p>

Jolinar has given me a lot to think about, and I must admit that part of me is being temped by her suggestion to try to escape from the SGC. However, if I do that, can I come back? Even after Jolinar has left, and they have checked and found I don't have a symbiote anymore? Will they ever fully trust me again?

I don't know - especially if they realise I helped Jolinar to get away. Then I suspect they will never fully believe me again, never completely trust me.

But if I don't escape, then the NID will take us and we will die - a slow and horrible death.

So my choice are down to; life, but my career is over or death, and no career, but at least my reputation might be saved.

I choose life.

* * *

><p>It is late evening, and my team is here to visit again. They don't come close to the bed, probably because of Jolinar. I also don't know if they actually believe it is <em>me<em> talking, and not her.

"Sam?" Daniel asks, unsure.

"Yes, Daniel. It's me." I tell him.

"How can we be sure?"

"You can't. Anything you ask me, Jolinar could just take from my mind. Not that she would, though."

They nod, not convinced.

"She?" Daniel wonders.

"Jolinar is female."

"Oh." O'Neill looks like he find it strange.

"Listen, _Sam_...if it's really you...the NID are sending someone for you."

"Daniel..." O'Neill warns him.

"Jack! We need to tell them!"

O'Neill sighs. "I guess. Well, they'll be here to pick you up tomorrow morning."

"So if Jolinar has any important information that can convince us to trust her, then now is a good time for it." Teal'c adds. "Perhaps it might convince Hammond to let you leave, even."

"She's a member of an underground resistance of rebel Goa'uld!" I exclaim. "Isn't that enough?" I sigh and close my eyes for a moment. "Listen, I don't blame you for not trusting you, and I'd be lying if I wouldn't have preferred never to have met Jolinar, but She's telling the truth. There's nothing she or I can tell you that would make you believe her. She has secrets - most of which I haven't learned, but it's not because she's deceiving me. It's...like our military secrets. She's an operative, and she has been undercover among the Goa'uld, getting information for the Tok'ra. They are trying to keep the Goa'uld fighting and weak, until one day they can get rid of all the System Lords."

"Well that sounds great! If we could believe you!" O'Neill sounds sarcastic - but also as if he is starting to believe, just a little.

"Which Goa'uld?" Daniel asks.

"Excuse me?" I look at him, not understanding.

"Which Goa'uld was _she_ undercover with?"

I give Jolinar control.

"**Cronus.**" She tells them. "**Teal'c, at least, knows of him. More than he would prefer, I suppose.**" She almost looks apologetic.

Teal'c obviously suppresses anger before he answers. "Indeed." He turns to O'Neill. "Cronus killed my father. I became first prime of Apophis to take my revenge of Cronus - the arch-enemy of Apophis."

"So - you've got good intel. What does that prove?" O'Neill asks. "You could still be a Goa'uld."

Jolinar sighs. "**Very true.**" She is quiet for a moment, then decides to change her tactics. "**Listen, I have got important information for my people. They have a spy in their ranks, and only I knows who. I _must_ get back. If not, it could set back our cause centuries, the Goa'uld may kill a great many of my kind, and with the Tok'ra weakened, the Goa'uld will grow stronger. It will be harder for you and all other humans and Jaffa.**"

"So you say."

"**Even if you do not trust me, you will have to admit there is a chance I am telling the truth. Do you really dare take the chance that I am lying? That me being handed over to the NID will not be to your disadvantage?**"

"Jack? Perhaps we should..." Daniel starts.

"No! I will _never_ trust a snake!"

Jolinar restrains herself, and do not yell at O'Neill, but I can feel how he is annoying her. "**Samantha tells me the NID will kill us - _eventually_. I will never tell them anything, and they do not have the means to make me. I can kill myself and my host, and they can do nothing to stop me. They do not have a sarcophagus. Know that I _will_ kill myself and Samantha before the NID learns anything about my people! You know you do not have the technology to remove me. You will gain _nothing_ by letting the NID have me. If you let me go, and it turns out I can be trusted, you will get Samantha back. I will return her to you, when I have found another host.**"

"Call me when she's decided to be cooperative." O'Neill says and leaves the room.

Daniel looks helplessly after him, and Teal'c raises an eyebrow. Jolinar takes a deep breath, and apologizes to me.

~**I am sorry, Samantha. I really hoped I could convince them to let us go. I fear we will soon be in the clutches of the NID.**~

~Don't give up yet. Though all that about killing your host surely did piss off the Colonel. Can you really do it?~

~**Kill us both? Yes, easily. I have complete control of your body, Samantha. Does that scare you? It should not. I would not do it without your permission.**~

~I...I suppose the situation may arise when I would choose that, but for now I must admit I'm hoping for life.~

~**As am I, but Samantha...I will never betray the Tok'ra! The NID will learn nothing from us, no matter what they do. I promise I will protect you against them to the best of my abilities, though. I will not allow you to suffer for my errors, but I will also not tell them anything.**~

Daniel and Teal'c leaves as well, giving me one last look. I lie down on the bed, trying to rest. It is not easy.


	3. Escape

~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice

* * *

><p>I have finally managed to fall asleep, and it is several hours later when someone opens the door. Jolinar is still asleep, and I move carefully, treasuring the silence in my head and the time alone in my body. I sit up.<p>

"Shhh, Sam - if it _is_ you." Daniel says in a low voice.

"Daniel?" I whisper, then notice someone else. "Teal'c?"

"Yes, Captain Carter."

"We talked it over, and while we're not completely sure we can trust Jolinar, we have decided it's better to risk trusting her than to let the two of you be taken by the NID." Daniel says.

"You're letting us go?" I look at him, surprised.

He nods. "Yes." He hands me a bag. "Here's clothes. You don't wanna go through the Stargate in hospital gowns. Are you okay to walk on your own?"

"Yeah, sure. Jolinar's fixed us both up. At least she's good for that." I grumble.

"I'm not sure she'll enjoy being talked about like that." Daniel laughs nervously.

"She's asleep, so she won't know unless she reads my memories afterwards - and she's promised not to do that without permission. I think I can trust her." I sigh.

"You must hurry. The guards will be back in 20 minutes, and we need to get to the gateroom before that." Teal'c says.

"Do I want to know how you got them to leave in the first place?" I ask as I grab the clothes and go change behind a screen. My body is still sore, and my head hurts a little, but mostly I just feels weak. Jolinar has patched me up well.

"Probably not." Daniel grins. "Don't worry, we'll be okay."

I finish dressing and we leave through the door together. "What about the Colonel? Does he know about this?"

"I think he suspects we'd do something like this. He doesn't want to know, but I think he'll be relieved you don't have to go to the NID tomorrow. Now, if he would just allow himself to believe Jolinar may speak the truth..." Daniel said.

I nod, feeling better that O'Neill at least passively agreed to this.

We hurry through the corridors and to the elevator, then down to the gateroom. Jolinar is awake now, but is silently watching. Daniel hug me, a little gingerly and clearly not feeling comfortable with Jolinar, then goes to the control room, while Teal'c walks with me to the gateroom. The wormhole opens.

"Good luck, Captain Carter - and Jolinar. I hope to see you again soon." He says and hands me a knife and one of the zats we got from Apophis's ship.

"Thanks, Teal'c. I'll do my best." I say before leaving through the Stargate.

And then I am standing on an alien planet, the wormhole shutting off behind me. That's when it hits me fully - I am AWOL...and possessed by an alien lifeform!

Jolinar takes control and before I can complain by her suspicious behavior, she immediately inputs a new address in the DHD and we walk through another wormhole.

~Jolinar...~ I begin.

~**We are going to the Tok'ra base I belong to - if they are still in the same location. You will get control back soon.**~

I feel nervous - unsure about Jolinar, uncertain this was a good idea - and very nervous about soon meeting her people. A whole race of Goa'uld...Tok'ra. Then she blocks my sensory reception as she dial yet another gate address - to the Tok'ra base world, probably, and she doesn't trust me enough to let me know the glyphs. I can't say I blame her for that, at least.

* * *

><p>My vision and other senses return as soon as we step out on the planet. It is a desert world, and I get a 'home' feeling from Jolinar.<p>

~You've been on this planet long?~

~**Longer than usual.**~ Jolinar answers.

She does not seem inclined to elaborate or talk at all. I get a feeling of nervousness from her. ~You're happy to be home - what's the problem?~

~**It is difficult to return with a new host when no one was present during the change of host. I need to prove who I am.**~

~I guess that could be unpleasant.~

Jolinar does not answer, but keeps control and walks, her head held high, towards some dunes. As we approach them I suddenly get a weird feeling - and thinking about it I realise I've felt it before. Near Teal'c - and differently, from the Stargate.

~**Naquadah.**~ Jolinar tells me. ~**It resonates with itself, and since symbiotes have it in the blood - and the hosts get it as well - we feel that reaction as a humming or prickling feeling. We are feeling the hidden Tok'ra guards.**~

Before I have time to answer, people jump up of the sand all around us. They must have been hiding under the sand! Jolinar holds up her knife and zat, then puts them down on the ground.

"**Who are you?**" A woman, dressed in beige and tan clothes, demands. She is dressed similar to the others, and they are all dressed like many common humans people are on the planets we have gone to - however, there is a similarity to the clothing here which yells 'uniform'.

"**I am Jolinar of Malkshur.**" Jolinar tells them. "**And you are Jalen.**"

"**Jolinar. You have a new host, then. What happened to Rosha?**" Jalen asks.

"**Killed, as we fled from the ashrak Cronus sent after us. This is Samantha Carter of the Tau'ri.**"

The Tok'ra guards nod slowly.

"**You seems to be telling the truth, but you will have to be interrogated to make sure. You know the rules, Jolinar.**"

"**I know.**" Jolinar sighs, and we follow the guards to a spot which turns out to have transporter rings.

They jump out of the ground and surround us, and we materialize - together with the guards - in blue-grey crystal tunnels underground.

~Wauh!~ I exclaim mentally as I look at the crystals. ~Impressive!~

"**The interrogators are ready to determine your identity, Jolinar.**"

Sighing, Jolinar goes with them. This is going to be long and unpleasant, I just know it.

* * *

><p>We are both exhausted. It is much later when we are finally released, having convinced them that Jolinar indeed is who she says she is.<p>

After that she was debriefed by the Council, reporting on all that had happened since she was sent on her mission to Cronus's court - what did she learn there after the last report was sent, why did she have to flee, what happened to Rosha, how did she die, where, why, who sent the ashrak, what happened to him, how did she get her current host, what did she learn about the Tau'ri, how did she escape - an endless stream of questions. Then, focus went to the fact that I did not volunteer, and it was clearly a much larger infraction than expected. They were angry, a lot! I had to come forward several times and tell them my side, and how I felt about things.

Jolinar will be punished, and the first order of business for her is to find a new host. It will not be easy.

After talking with the Council, Jolinar insists on talking personally with a few of them which she trusts - and tells them of her knowledge of a spy in the Tok'ra tunnels. That is why she had to flee from Cronus - a Tok'ra collaborates with Cronus and told him about her. She knows who he is. His name is Cordesh.

They don't trust her at first, but eventually goes to check his chambers, and finds he has a long range communication device, which the Tok'ra never use, since it is not a safe technology, the transmissions can be intercepted. He admits he is a spy, and is taken to be extracted.

Jolinar is thanked for this, and leaves the Council members.

Then I learn something else, which Jolinar has carefully kept from me. She has a mate - mates, actually.

"**They have been missing for more than a week?**" Jolinar asks the man - Malek, I think his name is. "**Why did you not tell me as soon as I returned?**"

"**I apologize, Jolinar. You know how it is.**"

"**Yes. No one will be sent for them, and I am not allowed to leave this place until the Council has decided on a punishment for me - which will probably mean I can't leave for a long time afterwards anyway. That's assuming they're getting me a host I can use!**" Jolinar is frustrated, and so not as polite and correct in what she says - not that she seems to have tact ever.

~You have mates? You are married?~ I ask, confused.

~**Yes.**~ She answers, curtly.

~You didn't think this was _relevant_ for me to know?~

~**No, you don't want to remain my host.**~

~_That's_ for sure, but what if they had been here? What would have happened then? Would you have slept with them?~

~**It's irrelevant, as they're not.**~ Jolinar answers, obviously not wanting to talk to me right now, and I give up. For now.

* * *

><p>As exhausted as we are, Jolinar anyway returns to the Council to ask them to send a rescue mission for her mates. She is not surprised when they deny her, but she is still furious. Eventually she is led to her quarters by guards.<p>

~Jolinar...~ I attempt. ~We need to talk. Listen, I'm sorry about your mates, I really am,but there isn't a lot we can do. I mean, you're not allowed to leave until the Council has decided on a sentence and you need a new host. They said it could take weeks or months for them to find you one, especially since you insist on a young female. I can't wait here for that long!~

~**What do you want me to do, human?**~ Jolinar is angry.

~Flee? Go find a new host so I can go home?~

~**It would still take months, perhaps, and I would be a renegade. Martouf and Lantash might be dead by then, if they aren't already. No, we're staying here where I can work on getting the Council to at least let me go on a rescue mission.**~

~Using me as host, or what?~ I spit at her.

She doesn't have an answer to that, but she seems stunned by what she has hinted. She does not want to behave like a Goa'uld. What she already has done is bad enough.


	4. Sentenced

~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice

* * *

><p>Next day, after a night where we have both slept badly, and talked very little, Jolinar is called to the Council for sentencing.<p>

~What will they say, do you think?~ I ask, worried.

~**Relax. Whatever they decide to do to me, they will not punish you.**~

I feel marginally more relaxed, but not much. Besides, part of me is really starting to feel sorry for Jolinar. She is fearing for her mates, whom she loves desperately. She has not been able to hide her feelings since yesterday when we learned they were captured. I feel both her fear and her intense love. Poor Jolinar - I do not truly want her punished, I only want her gone and my life back as if was before.

Though I know that will not happen. Even if Jolinar leaves me and I somehow get back to Earth - how? - I doubt the others will trust me after this, even when they check and see I am not a host anymore. My career is probably over in any case.

* * *

><p>Jolinar was sentenced to be removed and put in a tank until they can find her a suitable host! She is shocked by the severity of the Council's judgment and so am I. Especially since she is not really strong enough to leave me yet, and it may kill her. Even with their help. They listened to my wish to have her out and go back as soon as possible, but this was not what I wished for. Not really. Especially not since she will be risking her life. The only reason her punishment was not even harsher is that she saved them from the spy, Cordesh.<p>

She is angry and desolate - this means there is no chance for her to go rescue her mates. She knows it will be months before she gets a new host, and by then her mates are almost certainly dead.

I feel sorry for her. Guilty.

The punishment will happen tomorrow morning - unless they decide it will be too dangerous for _me_ to remove her so soon. Then we will be locked up until they can remove her with little danger to me. The healers will decide.

* * *

><p>~<strong>Samantha.<strong>~ Jolinar wakes me late at night when I have finally managed to fall asleep. It's not getting easier by the knowledge that these quarters are Martouf and Lantash's as well. I believe I can smell them on the pillow - though I know it is Jolinar who can. I don't even know their scent.

~Mmnn, yes? Aren't you asleep?~

~**There will be little to do _but_ sleep in the tank, so I think I will get all the sleep I need to catch up over the next months!**~ Jolinar says, disgustedly.

~Sorry,~ I offer.

~**Samantha, I beg you. I care not for what happens to me, but I cannot bear the thought of my beloved mates dying horribly at the hands of the Goa'uld - they will be tortured to death repeatedly!**~

I shudder at the thought. I don't like that idea either. Not at all. I feel Jolinar's emotions, they are strong. I think I would like to meet the men that evokes such feelings in her, but...? ~What do you want me to do? I cannot say I will remain your host.~

~**I do not ask you - not permanently, but for a little time more? Just long enough for me to rescue Martouf and Lantash?**~

I sigh, thinking it over. ~Do you have any idea how to do it? And will the Council let you do it, even if I say to tell them to let you be in me for a while longer?~

~**The Council will not let me do this. They rarely risk sending out operatives to save others, though it happens, if the operative or the mission is of high enough importance. Otherwise, they rely on the various undercover Tok'ra at the courts to help the operative, if possible, or otherwise the operative must escape on their own - or die. We are too few to do anything else, and our resources are stretched thin. However, in this situation it is simple stubbornness and principle, since I will sit in a tank otherwise. Oh, and no, they will not go back on that unless you actually wish to remain my host, permanently. In that case it would be punishing the host to remove me, and they would never do that for an infraction done by the symbiote.**~

I nod, seeing the Council's points, but still feeling bad about this. Can I live with knowing Jolinar will sit for months in a tank while her mates are tortured to death repeatedly? Her mates who I already can barely think the names of without a strong wave of love? Wow, that's weird - I have only caught a glimpse of how they look from Jolinar, and I know next to nothing about their personalities - and I have never met them - and already my heart beats faster at the thought of them, and hurts at the thought of harm to them? What is going on here? ~Jolinar?~

~**Yes, I caught your thoughts, as strong as they were. Feelings are affected by blending, but we are not blended yet. However there is already some small amount of merging, and we are both stressed, making it much harder to keep our feelings separate. I am sorry, but it may be best for you that I leave soon. If not you may come to love them, and that would be unfortunate. I do not wish you to suffer because of me.**~

~I think I can handle it now when I know what is going on.~ I sigh. ~I can't let you sit in a tank while they are killed. Do you think we can get away? I mean, not asking?~

Jolinar is quiet for a moment. ~**Yes - I believe it is possible. If you are certain?**~

~I am.~ I lie - both to myself and her.

* * *

><p>Quietly, Jolinar gets up and dresses, packing a few things. I itch to be in control, as I have done many times over these past days. Jolinar lets me have control much of the time, but there has been much she has had to be in control to do, and now she will handle the escape best, knowing the tunnels.<p>

Armed with a zat'nik'tel, and with a hand device and several shock grenades in the bag, we slink out of the rooms and sneak through the corridors. Everyone seems to be asleep, and there are no guards in here. No one imagines Jolinar would do what she does - the Tok'ra are very loyal. I wonder how long it will be before they trust her again after this - if we survive, that is. Jolinar has warned me of the danger of this mission.

I am used to danger, and are mostly concerned by the fact that I will not be able to be in control much at all - we will be pretending to be a minor Goa'uld, looking for work, and hopefully find and free Martouf and Lantash that way.

Instead of using the normal ring transporter, Jolinar goes to a back entrance, used during emergencies. No one discovers us, and shortly after we are on the surface. We cannot breathe easily yet, though, as we need to get through the Stargate - and in order to get to it we must get past the guards.

Jolinar knows exactly where they are, and runs directly towards the place. Is she crazy?

I just have time to realise the guards are jumping out of the ground, when Jolinar swirls and runs in another direction, suddenly stopping just before a large rock and throwing a shock grenade at the approaching Tok'ra. She jump behind the rock and holds her ears and closes her eyes for a few moments.

* * *

><p>I think we have been unconscious for a few moments, and my vision is sort of foggy, so I guess we caught a part of the effect of the shock grenade. Jolinar stands up quickly, swaying slightly, and raises her zat as she walks out from behind the rock.<p>

The guards all got much more of the shock than we did, and are mostly still unconscious. When we pass the one that was furthest from the center of the explosion, he moans softly. Jolinar breaks into a spurt and reaches the Stargate in very short time. She tells me the guards will recover quite quickly, as the symbiotes can negate the effects fast. She hides it, but she clearly feels bad about stunning her friends and fellow resistance fighters. I guess there's also some danger to the whole base, having the guards stunned, so it is a good thing it is for such a short period.

The wormhole activates and Jolinar throws herself through, just as we hear one of the guards call out from behind, warning her not to do this.

Not surprisingly, she doesn't obey.

We have escaped!


	5. Renegade

~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice

* * *

><p>~What now?~ I ask. We have jumped to yet another world, a place where it is currently summer - and night.<p>

~**I need some things from here.**~

~Jolinar!~ I say angrily. ~I agreed to let you do this! To let you use my body for a dangerous mission for an unspecified period of time, so you can rescue your husbands. Don't you think I deserve to know a little of what's going to happen?~

She sighs, guiltily. ~**Yes, you do. I will get some valuables from a stash I have here - an emergency fund, should I find myself without access to the Tok'ra. That happens from time to time for operatives and others, you know! I will use it to go to a world I know, which has a market place that sells _everything_ as long as you can pay - and asks no questions. I will get expensive clothes, slaves, various things - and gifts to give to the Goa'uld who holds Martouf and Lantash.**~

~I see...wait, slaves - and gifts for the one who has captured your mates?~ I am completely confused.

~**I need slaves, or they will not believe I am a Goa'uld. Even a relatively minor one has _some_ slaves, and I need to appear important enough that I will be hired, so I get a chance to come into the palace and find a way to free Martouf and Lantash. The gifts are a necessary part - they expect lavish gifts from anyone who arrives and wants something.**~

~I think I understand.~

~**Of course, first I need to learn who is holding him. I have a theory, but I do not know for sure.**~

~Well, the one he was undercover with, I guess? Isn't that what you say you guys do?~

~**Martouf/Lantash were not on a mission as a minor Goa'uld, but as a human, trading with some people we regularly trade with. He is not normally an operative. Someone must have betrayed him, and I suspect I know who.**~

~Cordesh.~ I remember.

~**Yes. Probably he decided to get rid of them too, having gotten rid of me, he thought. He hates me - or Cronus does at least.**~

* * *

><p>Jolinar has asked around a little, and we go shopping for the things we need, while waiting to hear back from her spies - who are well paid.<p>

She has bought some clothing which is extravagant, but not as taste-less as what we have seen many Goa'uld wear. I am grateful for that, at least, even if I would prefer less revealing clothing. I must, secretly, admit that I look quite good, though.

The informers have found the information Jolinar asked of them. It is the Goa'uld Themis - and ally of Cronus's - who is holding Martouf and Lantash. It is now nine days since they were caught! Jolinar is very worried for her mates, and I feel it as well.

~**Themis is not the worst, and she dislikes having to deal with prisoners herself. She is not usually violent herself, but she likes to make her underlings interrogate her prisoners. If we are in luck and she hires me, that means we may be able to get to be alone with Martouf and Lantash - and so free them.**~

~If she doesn't have someone she would rather have handle that - how do you intend to insinuate yourself with her?~

~**I don't know yet. Gifts, slaves. We shall see.**~

Another informant comes to us, hoping for more money if he has info she doesn't know.

* * *

><p>~<strong>So Themis has been away for a meeting with her brother and some of her other allies, for most of a week!~ Jolinar sounds delighted. ~That means she will not have had time to torture Martouf and Lantash!<strong>~

~Probably not. That is certainly good news!~

And we can use some good news - after all the other stuff. Perhaps we can handle this mission quickly, rescue Martouf/Lantash, and then get back and Jolinar can leave me. Maybe we will even find a host for her!

I feel hopeful for the first time in days.

Perhaps I will soon be going back to Earth?

* * *

><p>We arrive on Themis's planet, Titana, early in the morning, wearing expensive, extravagant clothing, and with a following of fifteen slaves, all carrying gifts for Themis. Jolinar has her best, Goa'uld expression, and if I did not know any better, I would be sure she was Goa'uld!<p>

After some harsh words to the Jaffa near the Stargate, Jolinar is allowed an audience with Themis.

She walks into the throne room as if she owns the place, but still bows deeply to Themis, and offers her the slaves and gifts with a sweeping movement of her hand.

Themis looks impressed, but suspicious.

"**My first prime tells me your name is Jaella. What is your business here?**"

"**I have come to ask for the honour of serving you, my Lord.**" Jolinar lies glibly.

"**Hm, serve me in what position?**"

~**Good news! She did not turn me down immediately. Perhaps she is in need of an extra underling!**~ Jolinar suggests, happily.

"**I have many talents and abilities. Previously, I have worked for several other Lords, but not found one that impressed me, nor one that gave me challenging problems. Bastet and Olokun has both employed me for some time, and I believe they were quite pleased with my abilities to extract information from _difficult_ subject. You see, I have my quite own style, and I take great _pleasure_ in extracting the information.**"

Themis nods slowly. Bastet and Olokun are neither enemies nor allies, so she knows little of them, and a former employee of theirs would not be a danger.

"**It is the sign of a good interrogator when he or she finds pleasure in their work. As it is, I happen to have a difficult prisoner in my dungeon. I have only had time for the most preliminary interrogations, since other matters have taken my time - and my previous interrogator made the error of failing me, killing the prisoner before he even spoke his name. I killed the worthless fool immediately, so I am in the deplorable situation of having to handle interrogations myself. Most displeasing.**"

"**I agree, my Lord. That should not be something such an illustrious person as yourself should bother with. Let me spend some time with the prisoner, and see what I can learn. Think of it as a gift. If you are satisfied, and I found the challenge worthy of my efforts, then perhaps we can discuss employment. Otherwise, neither of us have lost anything.**"

"**The prisoner is in the sarcophagus after the mornings session. He will be sent to his cell afterwards, so why don't you join me for an early lunch? Then you can show me your skills after that.**"

"**Thank you, my Lord.**" Jolinar bowed respectfully.


	6. Martouf and Lantash

~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice

* * *

><p>"<strong>Jaella - this is the accursed Tok'ra. Please show me your skill.<strong>" Themis says, grinning evilly as the Jaffa force him down on his knees in front of us.

Jolinar - and me as well - feel a strong wave of love seeing him, almost to powerful to hide. We both yearn to embrace him and kiss him, but Jolinar manages to suppress our reaction.

I look at him...them. I have never felt such love, and I don't even know him! ~Jolinar - what shall we do? We can't torture him!~

She sighs. ~**Unless Themis leaves us alone, we may have to, but I will do my best to avoid it. I have brought a drug which will make them sleep - Lantash longer than Martouf. I will give that to them if necessary, and then tell Themis I will wait for the host to wake up, and interrogate him. Like all Goa'uld, she is convinced a host is weak in every way, and will happily give us all the information we want, just to make us stop torturing him. That is not true for a Tok'ra host, of course - he is as loyal to the cause as the symbiote.**~

Jolinar walks up to Martouf and Lantash, with an evil smirk on her face. "**So, Tok'ra...I advice to tell me everything I wish to know. I am not such an incompetent interrogator as the one you met earlier!**"

She puts her hand on his shoulder, then grabs hold of the tattered shirt he is wearing, ripping it off him in one hard motion.

"**I will tell you nothing, _Goa'uld_!**" He spits the last word as if it's an insult - and it is, of course.

Lantash - fierce, fiery, intelligent, and oh so passionate. He can be sweet and kind, but he will be defiant - and protective of his host - for as long as he is alive and conscious. Martouf - mild-mannered, kind, much more diplomatic than Lantash, wise and intelligent. A gentle soul, but hardier than he looks. Would do anything for those he loves, like Jolinar and Rosha...and most of all, Lantash. The bond between a host and a symbiote is stronger even than between mates.

I feel a stab of jealousy, for a moment wanting Jolinar and I to have that kind of relationship. That is quickly forgotten as I look at Lantash and Martouf again.

They are very handsome, very attractive. I admire their naked chest for a few moments, imagine how it would feel to run my hands over the skin...

Then I return to reality, and feel a pang of fear for them. My heart hurts thinking they have already been tortured, and Jolinar may have to torture them more, because Themis is not leaving. This also means Jolinar can tell Martouf and Lantash nothing - they do not know who she is. Which is perhaps just as well? But Jolinar is in pain at the thought of hurting them, I can feel it, even if she tries to hide it.

"**There's a painstick on the table.**" Themis tells Jolinar, grinning evilly. "**So let's see you skill.**"

Unhappily, Jolinar grabs a painstick from a nearby table. "**Such a crude implement!**" She studies it for a moment, activating it. She then walks to Lantash and pushes it against him, but not very hard. He tenses, but does not make a sound. He glares at Jolinar, an expression of equal parts hate and defiance in his _beautiful_ pale blue-grey eyes. Jolinar almost gasps, and feels a pang of pain at this expression - even though she knows it is not directed at her, but what she pretends to be. She turns around and throws the painstick on the floor, disgusted. "**No, this will not do! I see the defiance in his eyes! He will not talk from this! Fortunately, I have other means of persuasion...**" She pulls out the small bottle with the sleep-drug.

"**What is that?**" Themis wonders. She sounds a little disappointed Jolinar will not be torturing Lantash in the traditional way - or with some undisclosed other physical torture device.

"**A drug which will put them to sleep. The host will awake before the symbiote, and the host will usually be quite willing to talk, and very receptible to even smaller means of persuasion. Since Tok'ra share their secrets with their hosts - despicable scum that they are - the host will have the information just as well.**"

"**Hm...not a bad idea, though I must say it is somewhat embarassing to have to ask the _human host_.**" She grins. "**I can see the advantages, though - and I have an idea to make this even easier. And quite fun!**" She snaps her fingers and a slave appears at her side immediately. "**Bring me a small vial of _tirwit_. And be quick about it!**" She laughs loudly. "**Oh, he will be _most_ pliable.**"

"**Amusing, but what other effects does this drug have? Is it anything I need to know to do my job satisfactorilly?**"

"**Oh, no, you need not worry. It won't harm him or anything, or make him unable to answer. That would be defeating the purpose, right? No, it is a hallucinogen, which he should be able to clear in a day or so. He may get some bad dreams for a couple days more, but who cares about that? If we haven't killed him, that effect may even be an advantage - it should soften him up a bit. Together with your drug, I guess he should _beg_ to talk!**" She laughs evilly again.

"**Ingenious, my Lord!**" Jolinar bows.

The slave comes into the room with a small bottle, which he hands Themis, looking scared. She snatches it from him. "**Bring the other drug, Jaella.**"

Jolinar does, a sinking feeling in her stomach. She hopes the hallucinations won't be too bad, but at least Martouf and Lantash will not suffer more _physical_ torture. At least not for the nearest future. "**They should become unconscious quite quickly, and then the host will awake in about three hours. The symbiote should remain unconscious for at least seven to eight hours.**"

"**Splendid!**" Themis pours the two drugs together in a glass, stirs them and callsout to her Jaffa. "**Hold the shol'vah down and make him drink this!**"

* * *

><p>Themis has gone to her room to enjoy some pleasures from her sex slaves while we wait for Martouf to wake up.<p>

Jolinar has been sitting in the quarters assigned to her, eating a little from the food she has been given. When about an hour has passed, she empties her cup and get up.

~**Time to go rescue Martouf and Lantash.**~

~He will be unconscious for another couple hours, both of them will, wasn't that what you said?~

~**I lied. The host should wake after just over one hour. I just wanted Themis to stay away so I could rescue them.**~

~Sneaky!~ I say, admiring.

Jolinar grabs a zat and a hand device - and then a healing device as well, which she clips to her belt. There isn't many places to hide anything in these clothes!

As she puts on her hand device, she walks to the cell area.


	7. Rescue

~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice

* * *

><p>"<strong>Open the cell door - I wish to check on the Tok'ra shol'vah!<strong>"

"Yes, my Lord!" The Jaffa bows deeply and then unlocks the cell door.

Martouf groggily sits up on the bunk, trying to focus on us. "Wh...at?"

"**I will be taking the prisoner. Tell Themis thank you from Bastet!**" Jolinar turns and fires on each of the two Jaffa in turn, felling them before they have a chance to react. "**Martouf - come, quickly!**" Jolinar says. She knows there are other guards just outside the cell area and that the two she zatted will awake soon. It is a brilliant move to blame Bastet, though. Hopefully Themis will tell Cronus and their group of allies will become enemies of Bastet's. It is always good to stir up trouble and animosity among the Goa'uld.

"How do you know...my name?" Martouf gets up and eyes her suspiciously, swaying dangerously. "Filthy Goa'uld." He spits the word.

"**Never mind that right now, I don't have time to explain. I'm a friend. _Come_!**"

Martouf is too groggy from the drug, and probably wouldn't trust a strange probably-Goa'uld anyway. "No - stay away from me!"

Jolinar rolls her eyes. "**Will you rater stay here and be tortured?**"

"No...but you'll sell me to someone worse and have me tortured anyway. _Never_!"

Jolinar sighs. "**Forgive me, then. I'll explain later.**" She zats him once and quickly steps up and catches him before he falls. ~**Damn - I had hoped he would come willingly! Cursed drug confusing his mind too much to make him realise it is always a better chance to flee!**~

~What do we do now?~ I look at the man we are holding against us, feeling my worry for him.

~**Carry him.**~ Jolinar lifts him up and puts him over the shoulder.

I am strong, and he is slim, but he is still heavy enough that I would not be able to carry him far under normal circumstances. Especially not since I need one hand free for the zat - and we will have to hurry as well. However, Jolinar gives me extra strength, and I believe we can do it.

Jolinar hurries to the door out from the cell area, and gently puts down Martouf, sitting him against the wall. She opens the door out and zats the two Jaffa outside before they have time to do anything. She quickly picks up Martouf again, looks around the place, and seeing no one near, she sets out on the way to the ships.

* * *

><p>We meet only a few more Jaffa on the way, which Jolinar quickly zats. Finally, we reach the shipyard with Themis's small fleet of ships. It is not a moment too soon, as some of the Jaffa have waked up and have alerted the rest of the palace. Martouf is not awakening yet, as the drugs in his system are increasing the effects of the zat.<p>

Jolinar opens the door in the nearest teltac and pushes Martouf inside, then turns to fire at the approaching Jaffa. They fire back and she jumps inside after felling one of the Jaffa. Jolinar pull Martouf further to safety and the door closes behind us.

We run for the teltacs small peltac and Jolinar sits in the chair and begins giving commands to the ship at top speed. The vessel shakes under the staff blasts from the outside, and now an angry Themis is standing out there as well, wearing only minimal clothing. She has been disturb while she was being pleasured by her sex slaves, and she has just learned her prisoner is being taken away by her new employee. She is _not_ a happy camper.

The teltac lifts off and the roof starts to open to the command Jolinar has sent it. We have almost reached it when it starts to close again, no doubt being given new commands from the main control panel in the shipyard. Jolinar forces the teltac into a speed that is not safe inside a building, and we manages to get out, scraping only slightly against the sides, then fly towards the sky.

We have escaped - unless Themis can follow in her ships, but as I see deathgliders show up on the traching display, Jolinar makes a bold move and jumps to hyperspace while still partially inside the planets atmostphere. The ships engines whines, but we succeed. We are in hyperspace!

* * *

><p>Jolinar makes a few corrections to the course, sets the autopilot, and we get up to go and see how Martouf and Lantash are doing.<p>

We have only just stepped into the back of the teltac, when Martouf jumps us. "Vile Goa'uld!" He hisses, as we tumble to the ground. "For what...nefa...farious purpose...have you...abducted us?" He is clearly still very groggy from the drug and the zat-shot, and have trouble forulating the sentences - and coordinating his movements. "How _dare_ you...you make my...beloved Lan..._symbiote_...unconscious!"

At least he remembers not to give his or Lantash's name to a strange Goa'uld - if only barely. "**It's not what you think, Martouf!**" Jolinar says, as she pushes him off and tries to hold him down.

It is a good thing he is as groggy as he is, because he is strong and a good fighter, so our only chance is that he is too confused to fight well.

Of course, we might not need to fight him if he was not groggy - he might be able to think clearly and realise we might have a reason that could help him, and that e is at any rate better off away from Themis, who would have tortured him to death repeatedly. Of course, other Goa'uld may do the same, but at least there is a hope he might better get away this way.

"H...how do you know my name?" He stutters as he lands a blow that sends us flying. He moves quickly enough that he manages to reach us and pin us to the floor with his body, before we recover. "We...will never surrender!"

"**Martouf - I am _Jolinar_, your mate!**"

Martouf is silent for a moment, then shakes his head, trying to focus on us. "You...resemble her, but you...are _not_ my Rosha and Jolinar!"

"**Martouf, I'm sorry. I have a different host. Rosha is dead.**"

"No! I do...not believe you! You have...have done something...horrible to my loved ones! You...shall suffer!"

The klaxons on the ships alarm starts sounding. Jolinar swears and gives Martouf another push off us. "**We went to Noctana for our honeymoon!**" She jumps up and runs to the front of the teltac while he sits, stunned, on the floor. She pushes the button to close and lock the door, as we hear him mumble.

"Lies..."

* * *

><p>Jolinar is hurting because her mate doesn't believe her, and also because she has just been reminded of the death or her former host, the must-loved Rosha. She pushes all her feelings to the back as she focuses on the imminent danger.<p>

~**We're being attacked. It's one of Cronus's ships. Dammit! Themis must have told him and we just happened to fly close to one of his ships! How can we be this unfortunate?**~

~We're not completely unfortunate - we saved your mates.~

~**Yes, now we must just hope it was not in vain - and that I'm not getting us all killed from flying in a direction Cronus was in!**~

~Jolinar - don't be so hard on yourself! You couldn't have known!~

I realise that I am not angry at her. Even just a few days ago I would have been angry at her for endangering my life. Now? I don't know. I am getting used to her and the situation, I guess.

Jolinar desperately searches for a way to hide, but there are no asteroid belts or moons to hide behind. She finds a nearby solar system, and goes for the nearest habitable planet, hoping we'll find a Stargate there.

Cronus's ha'tak is gaining on us, and we are hit by a shot just before we reach the planet. The teltac is damaged and we are hurling towards the ground...


	8. Crashed

~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice

* * *

><p>I wake up to the smell of burning electronics and the sound of small explosions. I groggily look around, trying to remember where I am and what has happened. Just as I remember what has happened, I feel Jolinar wake up.<p>

~**Wh...hat happened?**~ She asks.

~I think we crashed on the planet below.~ I tell her.

~**Ow...yes, I remember!**~ Jolinar stands up quickly - too quickly, and we sway slightly from the knock on our head.

~Careful!~

~**That will heal quickly, do not worry. We need to find out if Martouf and Lantash are all right!**~ She runs for the door to the back compartment of the teltac and hit the activation button. The door makes a screetching noise as it slowly slides open, and we run inside. "**Martouf! Lantash!**" Jolinar calls out. "**Are you well?**"

Martouf groans. "Yes...mostly. What...in the universe happened?"

"**We we're attacked by Cronus's ha'tak, and his Jaffa is no doubt on the way. Oh, we've crashed on an unknown planet. Come, quickly - can you walk?**"

"I can." Martouf gets up, supporting himself against the wall. He looks pale, and is obviously in pain. He limps as he approaches us.

Jolinar nods, loking worried. She grabs a bag and stuffs some emergency rations, watercanteens, and two blankets into it. She then adds another zat, in addition to her own. Checking she stil has the healing device in her belt, and the hand device in her small pouch in the belt, she walks to Martouf. "**Come, then.**" She grabs hold of him and he leans on her, not attempting either to escape or fight her.

A push on the door button opens a hatch to the outside and we slowly walk outside. We're somewhat the worse for wear, but really, it's only scratches, and we are alive.

Alive.

* * *

><p>We quickly limped our way to the nearest cover, which is some trees, the beginning of a nearby forest. No Jaffa shouted at us, but we had only just made it to reasonable safety, when we see Jaffa landing and running for the teltac. We need to get further away, and preferably without leaving tracks. We can't fight that many, especially not in our current condition.<p>

As quitely as possible, we slide down into a shallow stream. The water is cold, but we continue walking in it, taking care not to splash, for several miles.

Neither of us feel much desire to talk, and it is safest to be quiet anyway. When we have walked about an hour, Martouf informs us quietely that Lantash is waking up. He sounds relieved, and Jolinar and I understand. They still don't attempt to fight us or grab our weapons or anything, but just continue walking, still leaning on us.

Finally, we decide we have gotten far enough away and crawl up from the water, shaking from the cold. We walk on hard ground now, steeply uphill in the rapidly darkening landscape.

It has been a long time since we heard any shouts from the Jaffa, but they are still out there, we know. Soon they will send death gliders with infrared sensors, and we need to find a place to hide before that. Suddenly, we hear a horrible howl - almost a cross between the howl of a wold and the growl of a tiger. What could have made such a sound?

Another, similar howl answers, and we hurry on, suddenly terrified. Maybe the Jaffa are not the worst danger on this world!

* * *

><p>Exhausted, we reach a cave in the mountain, and hurry inside. It is now dark, except for a large, greenish moon that throws an eerie light over the landscape. Large clouds are approaching from the west, so we suspect it will rain soon. Well, that's good, probably, since it will hide any tracks we did happen to set.<p>

We'll just have to hope the rain will not last too long, and that it will not cause landslides her in the mountaneous area.

Martouf and Lantash are still somewhat affected by the drug and like us, they are banged up from the crash. Jolinar almost drags them the last bit inside. We have all been too tired to talk for some time, and we needed to be quiet anyway.

Our clothes are still damp from the stream we walked in, and we are very cold, despite having walked. The wind had picked up and the air was pretty cold. It is a good thing neither of us can get pneumonia! Yes another advantacge to having a symbiote. I sigh, and push the thoughts about that aside - soon we will hopefully be back with the Tok'ra, and Jolinar and I will unblend - and Jolinar will be punished.

I don't want her to be punished, but I want my old life back...or do I? Frankly, I am no longer sure. I will miss Jolinar, and I suspect am falling in love with martouf and Lantash. I groan. I will not think of this now!

~We need to find something to make a fire. We are cold and Martouf and Lantash are cold as well. And they seems to have become unconscious.~

~**I know. I will find something.~** Jolinar walks around in the cave, using the torchlight she took from the teltac to light the corners.

~Over there.~ I point. ~There's some dry wood and grass, that has probably blown in her.~

~**Wonderful!**~ Jolinar sounds relieved. ~**That should be enough to make a fire that will keep us warm and scare the animals we heard away. We just have to find a place to light it where it can't be seen from the outside - but the smoke should still draft out so we don't suffocate.**~

The cave is going straight in first, then curves a little further in to form an inner cave, partially closed off by some large rocks. The smoke will still flow out along the roof, but the fire itself will not be seen from the outside, so the Jaffa cannot use it to track with their termal sensors.

~Perfect, don't you think?~


	9. Hiding

~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice

* * *

><p>We have built a fire and made a soft place to lie from some of the grass. We have also helped the half-unconscious Martouf and Lantash to get in here, and to get out of their damp clothing. They are now sitting near the fire, wrapped in a blanket and dosing off.<p>

Jolinar waste no time getting rid of our clothing as well, and then draping a blanket around us before putting the wet clothing out on rocks in the cave, to allow it to dry quickly.

She then finds the healing device and goes to check on Martouf and Lantash.

~**A light concussion...a broken rib...multitude of scratches...twisted ankle...**~ Jolinar observes as she scans him, then sets out to heal him.

He makes a relieved sound as the pain disappears and the wounds heal even faster than what Lantash was doing.

"Thank you." He looks at her, grateful and tired - but still with a hint of suspicion.

"**You still worry? You still don't trust that I am who I told you I am? I am Jolinar of Malkshur, and this is Samantha Carter of the Tau'ri - my...new host.**~ Jolinar decides not to go into all the stuff about me not being a willing host, and I suspect it is a good idea. That is for later, when he believes her again. Trusts her. Wordlessly, we take out two food rations and a water canteen from the bag, and give him one of the food rations. He takes it, grateful.

"I don't know." He admits, as he rips open the food ration and begin to eat it. Then he shudders again from the cold. "Maybe later when I am again able to think clearly. Both Lantash and I are still confused...and we are having a hard time getting warm."

Jolinar looks at him, her heart melting. "**My poor sweethearts.**" She opens the water canteen and takes a drink, then hands it to him. He drinks as well, and looks at Jolinar as she sits on the hay and pats the spot beside her. "**Come, let us warm each other, then we will talk tomorrow. You do trust me enough for that, do you not?**"

Martouf nods slowly. "Yes, I do." He stuffs the last of the food into his mouth and sits down beside us.

Jolinar smile at him and we lie down together, wrapping both blankets around each other. It is strange, but also very nice to lie beside him...them, like this. Strange and very wonderful. Martouf and Lantash are both tired and fall asleep almost immediately. Jolinar and I enjoy having them close and safe with us. We enjoy this feeling for a little while before we slowly drift off to sleep.

* * *

><p>I wake up first the next morning - well, first of me and Jolinar, at least. I notice no one is lying beside us, and when I look up I don't see Martouf and Lantash. Worried, I hurry up from the 'bed' and grab my clothes, throwing them on. They really do not qualify much as clothes, being what a female Goa'uld minor Lord wears, but the cave is still nice and warm from the fire, even if it is down to embers now.<p>

Concentrating, I sense the energy signature of Lantash - and I feel a little proud that I managed to do that on my own! I am also very relieved, since it means he hasn't left. I grab the water canteen and two food rations.

I walk around the small corridor/twist in the cave and see Martouf and Lantash are sitting on a rock near the entrance, semingly deep in thought. They seem to be much better today, and look rested. I smile, feeling my heart beat faster. They really are attractive!

A few steps are all I manage to take before they react to my presence and turn towards - or Lantash - I have not yet learned to tell them apart, look at me for a moment, questioning. "**I'm sorry...Samantha...Car-ter, that is your name, correct?**"

So, it's Lantash. He looks really cute as he is trying to figure out how to address me.

"Yes. Samantha Carter. So you knew I weren't Jolinar?"

Lantash nods. "**Yes, she is never uncertain in her steps. You worried how we would react to you - even if she did, she would not show it like that. She is much too proud for that - too proud for her own good, often.**"

"Uh, okay." I smile at him, a little uncertain. Well, he's right about that! I am feeling nervous. I wish Jolinar would wake up, but I also know she needs to sleep after healing us yesterday, and also spending energy on healing Martouf and Lantash with the healing device. "Um, do you want food?" I hold out a food ration to him.

"**Thank you, yes. I am quite hungry.**" He gives me a warm and charming smile which makes my knees buckle.

I hand him one of the food rations and open the other, sitting down on a rock beside him to eat. It is really nice, sitting here beside him.

* * *

><p>We finish out food in silence. Then Lantash turns towards me, looking earnestly at me.<p>

"**I am sorry, what do I call you? Samantha or Carter or Samantha Carter?**"

I giggle a little, nervously, feeling stupid by my school girl behaviour. Please, self, tell me I am not developing a crush on my symbiote's mate?

"Uh, Carter is my family name, strangers might use both names, or call me 'Miss Carter' - or, given I am a soldier, 'Captain Carter'. Captain is my rank. My superiors will call me Carter or Captain Carter also. Friends and family call me Sam - it's a shortened form of my first name, 'Samantha'." I know I am blabbering, and take a deep breath, hoping Lantash doesn't think I am silly or something.

He nods and does not look as if he thinks I am foolish. "**Since you are host to my mate, and would normally also become my mate, I do not believe I can be considered a stranger. I shall use your first name, though I find Samantha to be prettier than Sam. Do you mind if I call you Samantha? You are much too beautiful to be called Sam.**"

"Ah, of course not. You can call me Samantha. I...I think I might like that." I blush. Why is Jolinar sleeping instead of helping me with this? Then I notice something. "Uh, I would be your...mate because I'm host to Jolinar?"

"**Yes.**" He smiles at me, and runs his gaze over my body. From the look on his face he really appreciates what he sees - and the clothing I wear does not hide much, a fact that is suddenly very obvious to me. "**Does this concern you? Do you, perhaps, have another mate at home?**"

"No, I don't have a _mate_, no - nor anyone I'm seeing or anything. I'm...I'm, available. Don't get me wrong...you're very attractive...and from what I know about you, I think I'd like you. A lot. And Martouf as well. You're both kind, intelligent, wonderful...people. It's just..." I don't know what to say. Jolinar did not want me to tell them about me not wanting to remain her host, not yet. "It's just that I don't know you very well yet. I mean, in person, and my people like to get to know each other before becoming ...mates."

"**I understand.**" Lantash nods. "**Martouf and I are mourning Rosha, and we would like some time to do that before we are ready to be your mates completely. However, I think we should start to get to know each other.**" He gently puts an arm around me, then leans in to kiss me. He stopps, just before doing so. "**Will you permit this?**"

"Ye...yes!" I manage to get out, swallowing.

Our lips meet, and I close my eyes, focusing on the kiss. It is sweet and gentle, without any urgency, but very full of emotion. I have never experienced so wonderful a kiss. I feel myself react to him and I return the kiss. After a few moments more, he pulls back. Opening her eyes, Sam looked into his, seeing they were dark with desire. So he obviously wanted her. Sam sighed, admitting to herself she wanted him too.

"**So, Samantha...please tell me about yourself, and how you came to be Jolinar's host.**"

* * *

><p>We have talked for some time, Martouf and Lantash taking turns to be in control. I tell them many things about myself, my life, and my planet, and they are genuinly interested. They are easy to talk to, and I find myself relaxing and having fun with them.<p>

I know they want to know how I came to be Jolinar's host, but I don't know what to say. Then, the more I ask questions about them and their life, the more they seem to wonder. I realise much of this is stuff I would know, had Jolinar and I blended.

"**Samantha...forgive me, but have you and Jolinar lost some memories, or...have you not blended yet? If not, then why are she not sharing with you?**" Lantash sounds like he is worried - and beginning to become angry at Jolinar. He is clearly suspecting something is not as it should be.

"Uh, we have only been together for, um, about ten days. Much of that time we were weak, as an ashrak almost killed us."

"**An ashrak! Why didn't you tell us about that? Are you all right? You should not have risked coming here if you are still weak! And Jolinar used energy to heal us also!**" Lantash looks horrified.

"She's okay, though I guess it will be some time before she is completely herself. at least, as far as I understand. She's still sleeping, recuperating."

"**Good. Let her sleep!**" He looks somewhat relieved.

Martouf takes over. "She must be tired then, for our Jolinar will not agree to rest so much, unless she is exhausted." He frowns. "Still, even if you were wounded by the ashrak, and are still tired, I would have thought Jolinar would have blended with you? It is easier on the symbiote - less stressful - to be blended, and she can easier draw strength from her host. You must not allow her to be heroic like that - this way she is also keeping you less than fully informed about everything you should know. It is not strange you do not know much about us."

"Ah, I...kinda...is probably at fault for that." I blush. "I didn't want to blend. Uh, my people are very private, and the thought of sharing my thoughts with someone else like that is scaring me a little. Or a lot."

"I see." Martouf looks as if he is not comprehending. "You should know then, that you will not long consider Jolinar a stranger, and you will not mind sharing all with her. It goes both ways, you know, and she will share much with you. It is also stressful not to be blended, and in time, dangerous. For both of you."

"We didn't mean for this to be permanent - well, I mean, not at first anyway."

"You do know it is potentially very dangerous for Jolinar to leave you, especially when she's as weak as now?" Martouf looks a bit accusatory and sad at me. "Why did you not tell us immediately?"

"We didn't know how to tell you, and Jolinar thought we should wait. And I agreed. Uh, and the thing about me being her host? It, ah, you know, it just, ah, kinda happened." I confess. "I mean, we didn't even know about the Tok'ra and I thought she was a Goa'uld at first and fought her and all, but I wouldn't do that now. I think we are beginning to get along."

Lantash takes over again, his eyes flashing. He looks really angry now. "**Do you mean to say Jolinar _took_ you? Without asking? You are an unwilling host?**"

I am suddenly very afraid I have messed up everything. Why didn't we think through what to say?

"At first I was. I mean, she didn't mean to - she did think I was offering myself as her host, but I didn't know she was there, and I then I panicked when she jumped into me." I blabber. "The Council wanted to punish her, but we couldn't let you die. They wouldn't send out anyone to rescue you, so we decided to go..."

"**The Council wants to punish Jolinar, and she then ran off with an unwilling host, putting that host in further danger? Please repeat the whole story from the beginning!**" Lantash looks angrier than I have ever seen anyone be - and so very disappointed in his mate. It hurts to see that pain.

I take a deep breath and start from the beginning, making sure to explain that I was giving mouth-to-mouth on the man that Jolinar was in, and that there was a lot of confusion, meaning she thought I was offering even though I couldn't know she was there. I then panicked and she had to keep control - also because she needed to get back to the Tok'ra with the information about Cordesh being a spy. I realise I no longer want Jolinar punished, and I also do not want Martouf and Lantash to be angry at her. I want to protect her.

* * *

><p>I have told them everything, repeating several things and going into detail, when there were something they wanted clarified. I have assured them repeatedly that I am no longer angry at Jolinar, and that I do sincerely believe she thought I was offering. They are still angry, and clearly still hurting, but not as badly as before.<p>

They are now sitting by themselves on a rock near the entrance, thinking - or talking together.

~**So they know.**~ Jolinar observes.

~Jolinar! You are awake?~

~**Yes.**~

~Are you feeling better?~

~**Physically, yes, but not if my loved ones hate me. Of course, I would still have done what I did, as I think it was the only way to save them.**~

~I'm sorry, Jolinar. I did try to explain, but it may not have come out as well as I tried to.~

~**May I go through your memories of the discussion?**~

~Yes.~ I answer, after only thinking about it for a moment.


	10. Happy Again

~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice

* * *

><p>Jolinar has gone through my memories, and Martouf and Lantash are still talking to each other.<p>

~Why are they so angry? And why do it look as if they're hurting so badly?~ I wonder.

~**They are disappointed in me for taking an unwilling host, though I am sure they will accept what you said that I was confused and thought you offered. Eventually. Further problems comes from the fact that I risked my unwilling host to save their lives - and that I went against what the Council said and went renegade for them. They are disappointed and worried - worried for me as well, because I will be punished for saving them. They are also hurting because we didn't tell them, and I think they had started to think of you as their mate, and was working towards getting to know you. All of this is on top of their deep grief for Rosha, which is making it harder for them to think clearly.**~

I nod, realising what she says. I really feel sorry for them, and I would do almost anything to help them feel even a little better.

~Jolinar - what would happen if I stayed your host? I mean, would the Council still insist on punishing you?~ I ask, the question one that has been jumping around my mind for a while.

~**No...at least not as severely. They consider you the victim, and they would never do anything to me that would be considered harming you. And it would be harming you if they forced you to be separated from a symbiote you are blended with and does not want to leave. It might even make you go mad with loneliness and kill yourself, if me leaving you didn't do it on its own.**~ She is quiet for a moment. ~**Sam - are you considered letting me stay? Blend with you? You must understand that if you do that, then it is almost certainly permanent. You must not do it just because you are feeling guilty over something, which you should not - you are not the guilty part her.**~

~I don't want you to be punished. I don't even think I want you to leave anymore. I'm pretty sure I'd miss you terribly - and if I had told myself that a couple days ago even, I would have though I'd gone crazy! There's one more thing - I think I'm starting to, ah, fall in love with your mates.~

~**I would feel honored if you would be my host, Sam!**~ Then she giggles. ~**Yes, they're gorgeous, aren't they? They are the sweetest, kindest men in the universe. Very intelligent and oh so good looking...and you don't know how wonderful they are in bed. I tell you, they are more skilled than anyone I've ever been with, and I've been with many. Before them, of course.**~ quickly reassures me.

I blush and feel like rolling my eyes at her gushing, but I have only to look to them to feel the same. I am well and truly smitten.

~I don't have your experience, but I think I would very much like to experience their skill!~ I tell her. ~Yes, I will blend. What do we do?~

~**First, we talk to Martouf and Lantash again.**~

After some discussion, Jolinar and I decides it had better be me telling them that we have decided to blend, but first Jolinar will talk to them a little about all that has happened, and hope they are less angry at her now.

* * *

><p>"<strong>Do you forgive me, my loves?<strong>" Jolinar asks when she has explained herself, looking anxiously at Martouf.

Martouf goes over to us, smiling sweetly. "Yes, my Jolinar, we do. We understand what happened, and although we are still sad that you and your host does not wish to remain together, we accept that. We will always love you, no matter what happens." He leans in and gives us a soft kiss.

Jolinar takes a deep breath and I can feel how relieved she is. I feel her relieft as acutely as if it was my own, and to be honest, I am very relieved they are no longer angry at her.

Lantash takes control and sighs lightly. "**Yes, my Jolinar. Just so there is no doubt in your mind. We both forgive you...and we both love you, deeply and forever.**" He kiss her.

"**Thank you. Now there is something important we need to tell you - and we have agreed Samantha should be the one to do so.**"

I take over, looking at Lantash who gazes back, expectant - and somewhat nervously.

"Um, Lantash, Martouf...ah, you see, I have been thinking, and I have discussed this with Jolinar...and have decided I would like to remain her host. If you two don't mind, that is." I feel nervous and blabber on. "Because, ah, since you're her mates it kinda matters and if you don't think you can get to accept me, then I totally accept that..."

Lantash interrupts me by pulling me to him. "**Shh, my Samantha. Of _course _Martouf and I can come to accept you. We already have, and we have already started to feel for you. Love will not take long to develop fully, we are certain of that. You are kind, selfless, and intelligent - and very beautiful. We both believe you are a good match for Jolinar, and we were deeply saddened when we thought you would not remain and be ours.**"

Relieved, I put my arms around him and lean my head against his shoulder. "Thank you. Um, I think I am also, uh, beginning to fall in love with you two."

"**That is wonderful to hear, Samantha.**" He gives me a soft kiss, which deepens, before he lets go. He sighs. "**Martouf and I both look forward to getting to know you - in every way.**"


	11. Blending  and Mates

~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice

This chapter has been cut and rewritten from an R rating, to get a PG-13 rating. The original version can be read on Symbiotica: http : / / tokra . fandomnet . com / viewstory . php ? sid = 327 & chapter = 11 ( Just remove all the whitespace )

* * *

><p>After talking for a little while longer - Martouf and Lantash taking turns talking to me and kissing me and Jolinar - then we decide it is better we start back towards the Stargate. The Jaffa may find us if we stay here for too long, and we cannot walk at night - not with those terrifying animals we heard yesterday evening.<p>

We walked the whole day, now and then talking a little, but most of the time keeping quiet to avoid anyone hearing, should anyone be nearby. We have to keep our concentration on the sometimes dangerous mountain path, and on keeping a lookout for enemies.

Halfway through we took a break and ate an emergency food bar each and drank some water - taking the time to talk a little again. Jolinar is no longer attempting to keep her feelings for them hidden, and I don't try not to feel for them. Now and then it is a little awkward, when I am in control, but most of the time it is nice. They are wonderful men - and very attractive.

Close to evening we find a small stream we can fill the water canteens from. We still have emergency food rations for one more day. If we keep the current speed, then we should reach the Stargate shortly after that, so we should be good.

"Over there." Martouf says, pointing. "I think it's a cave."

"**I agree.**" Jolinar answers, and we walk towards it.

There is some steep climbing, but soon we reach the entrance to the cave. It is not a moment too soon. The sun is down, and we have already heard the first fearsome howls from the local fauna. It feels as if my blood is turning to ice every time I hear it, and I can sense Jolinar react the same way. We do not want to meet these creatures up close!

Martouf/Lantash and Jolinar and I quickly search the cave, finding no danger in it - and that it is quite deep, with shelter for the wind further in, as well as a small pond with tepid water, likely due to volcanic activity. We all feel a bath would be wonderful, so this is very welcome. The cave goes in only a little bit form the entrance before it twists, and then twists again. This is great, since it will completely hide our campfire from anyone who is looking.

We find dry grass, sticks, and wood, and soon have a nice fire going. Outside the wind is picknig up, and I think it sounds as if it is starting to rain again, but here it is nice. Despite the danger during the day, it has been nice walking with Martouf and Lantash, talking to them and slowly getting to know them.

Tonight, Jolinar and I will blend. I have made my decision. I will remain Jolinar's host - I cannot stand the idea of her not being with me. Martouf and Lantash will be my mates - which is a very appealing thought.

Back in the tunnels the Council will be angry at Jolinar still, but they will not force her to leave me. We may be demoted, but it is irrelevant. I also need to go back to Earth, somehow, and talk to my people. How will they react? How will I avoid getting captured? Can the Tok'ra and the Tau'ri become friends, perhaps? That is all something we will have to think about in the future, but right now I don't want to think about it. I want to focuse on Martouf and Lantash instead.

After we have eaten a food ration each, and drunk some water, we decide to take a bath before going to sleep.

"Okay - who bathes first?" .

"Why can we not bathe at the same time?" Martouf asks, confused. "The pond is certainly large enough."

"Uh, because...uh, on my world - in my country at least, men and women don't usually bathe together naked unless they're married."

"The Tok'ra does not have such strange ideas. We are not as modest. However, it wouldn't matter in any case, as you are our mates - that is the same as being married."

I blush before Jolinar can stop it, and I can hear her laughter in my head. ~**He's right, you know!**~

"Okay, fine." I say, not wanting to admit I am shy. "Then let's bathe together."

I hurry towards the small lake and with my back turned I start to undress, feeling more than a little self-conscious. Jolinar is not helping, but I can sense she is amused.

It takes me little time to remove the flimsy clothing, and I quickly slip down into the water before turning around to see if Martouf and Lantash are ready to bathe yet. The water reaches to just under my shoulders, so I feel safely covered.

Looking at them, I see they have removed all their clothing except their pants. I feel my heart beat faster as I glide my eyes over his chest. Martouf - or rather Lantash, I think - smirks, clearly noticing my appreciation. He doesn't mind me looking, and I watch as he unbuttons his pants and pull them off, then slide his underpants off as well. I swallow, enjoying the sight of him naked. Jolinar is giggling in the back of my head, enjoying both my reaction and the sight of her mates.

My gaze slowly slides over his body, enjoying what I see. I would really love to run my hands over that smooth-looking skin and feel those nice muscles under it. I swallow and look away, as Lantash steps closer, then slides down in the water beside us, grinning at me. I blush a little before Jolinar takes care of my reaction.

The water is pleasant, and we sit in it for a while, relaxing, and talking. Jolinar is currently in control, and I can feel she is feeling a little giddy. Suddenly, she splashes Martouf, who is currently in control, then flee, giggling.

"Jolinar! I will get you for that!" Martouf tries to sound stern, then grins, hurrying after Jolinar and catching her foot as she tries to swim from him.

She tries to pull the foot away from him, but he pulls her close, then splash her, grinning. "**Martouf!**"

They fight in the water, and laugh for a few moments, then stop, standing very close together. Martouf looks deeply into our eyes, and I feel my heart beating like crazy, unsure if it is because of me, or because of Jolinar. His pale blue-grey eyes look almost dark with his desire. He runs his tongue over his lightly parted lips, moistening them. "Does Samantha mind?" He says, hoarsely.

~**Samantha?**~

~Ah, no...I must admit I feel a bit awkward, since I don't really know them very well, but I must also admit I want them...~ I know I would be blushing furiously right now, if I had control.

"**She does not mind.**"

Martouf nods, then leans in and our lips touch. The kiss soon becomes much more passionate than the first one Martouf/Lantash and I shared this morning.

Jolinar puts our arms around Martouf and pull him closer, as she deepens the kiss and tangles her tongue with his. He moans and slide his hands down my back, grabbing my butt and squeezing gently. We stand very close, and I feel his arousal clearly.

Martouf's eyes flash as Lantash take control and begins touching me, caressing me everywhere he can reach. I groan mentally, and it is echoed by Jolinar, who rubs against him. I know our desire is quickly spiralling out of control, and I want them as badly as Jolinar does.

* * *

><p>After making love in the water, we made our way to the makeshift bed, and we fall asleep in each others arms, snuggling under the blankets.<p>

* * *

><p>Jolinar wakes me about an hour later, suggesting we blend now, and I agree. We spend some time learning about each other, and I suddenly feel I understand many of the things about the Tok'ra that I did not understand earlier. Afterwards, we sleep some more in the arms of our beloveds.<p>

Next morning, we make love again. This time Martouf is in control most of the time, since Lantash had control most earlier. They prefer to share the amount of control in situations such as this pretty evenly. Of course, both feel the same pleasure, whether they are in control or not, but there is some extra satisfaction by being the one controlling what to do and when.

Realising we better get going, we dress and eat the last of the food rations and drink some water. The weather is nice today, but it rained tonight so there should not be any tracks of us for the Jaffa to follow. We have not seen anything of them, so maybe we managed to get away. Hopefully.

It takes most of the day - especially since we have to hide once, when a death glider flies overhead, then returns to circle. Nothing worse happens than a scare, and late afternoon we get to the Stargate. There are no guards, and after waiting for some time to make sure the coast is indeed clear, we hurry to the DHD and dial out.

We get safely to a safe-world, and from there we dial the current world our Tok'ra base is on.

I am nervous, and Jolinar even more so, when we prepare to go through the wormhole. Martouf and Lantash kiss us, and take our hand, assuring us all will be well, and then we walk through, hoping that is indeed the case.


	12. Home

~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice

A/N: E. Nagrom, it wouldn't let me answer with a pm, but thanks for the review! Happy you like it!

* * *

><p>Guards jump up from the sand not long after the wormhole has closed behind us.<p>

"Welcome back, Lantash, Martouf." The guard - a man I recognize as Aldwin - says.

"**Jolinar - you are under arrest!**" Another guard - Sotrak - says, grabbing my arm hard.

"Leave my mates alone, Sotrak!" Martouf says, sharply.

"**She has broken against several of our highest laws, surely she has told you?**"

"She has, but Samantha does not want Jolinar punished, and has forgiven her. As well, there are reasons for why Jolinar did as she did. If Samantha can forgive her, then so can Lantash and I."

"**Regardless. That is for the Council to decide.**"

We are lead to the rings and we transport down, Martouf/Lantash following closely, nervous as we are. What will happen?

* * *

><p>The Council deliberates for a long time, after having listened to what both Jolinar and I - and then Martouf and Lantash - have to say.<p>

Now we wait outside, Martouf and Lantash sitting and holding us close. "All will be well." Martouf assures me - and himself and Lantash just as much, I don't doubt that.

Finally, Yosuuf/Garshaw comes out and tells us what they have decided.

"**Jolinar - even if you had reasons to do as you did, you still broke our law. Both by taking an unwilling host, and by going off without permission, fleeing from the guards who were watching you. Yes, it was to save your mates, and you succeeded, but you also put not only your own life, but that of the host you took against her will, at risk. However, since that host, Samantha, has decided she wishes to remain your host, and since she will forgive you, we have decided to forgo most punishements. You will not be removed from your now willing host - that would be a crime even worse than what you committed. You will be demoted in rank, but that is the only punishment you get. You are now of fourth rank.**"

"**Thank you, Garshaw. Tell the Council that we accept the punishment.**"

"**I shall.**" She nods and leaves, and Jolinar turns to Martouf and Lantash, elated.

She throws her arms around them, and we sit in silence, just enjoying the knowledge that we are together, and that Jolinar will not be punished further. I am immensely relieved, as are we all.

"**So, Jolinar, now you're down two whole rank, same rank as we are. The good news is that there is no way to go but up, and who really cares about rank?**" Lantash says.

"**Obviously not you, since you, Aldwin, Torlan, and Anise are the only ones from your clutch who has remained there the whole time.**"

"**We have more important things to do.**" Lantash smiles at her. "**So do you. You have a new host. Per tradition we get a week off to get used to each other. Come!**"

Jolinar smiles and we go with him and Martouf to their - our - shared quarters.

~**I am very sure I shall regain my rank before Lantash and Martouf are promoted. While Martouf is a skilled diplomat, and does a good job at censoring Lantash, it can be a difficult job. Lantash is opinionated and self-assured, as you have no doubt noticed, and he is also honest to a fault. He will tell people his opinion and what he things of them, and while honesty is an admirable trait, the truth often infuriates people. Lantash is however very intelligent, as is Martouf, so they will often be asked even if they have a low rank. To be honest, I think they prefer it this way - they get to give their input, and do varied work, but they do not often have to take responsibility for things when they go wrong, and they do not normally have to take on missions they do not like. Yes, I think they may be very very sneaky, and get it more or less exactly as they want it.**~ Jolinar again smiles fondly at her mates.

I, too, look fondly at our mates, and very much look forward to spending some quality time with them.

Yes, later we must think of how to contact Earth, and hopefully convince them the Tok'ra are good guys - and maybe get an alliance, I hope. Perhaps we can build a radio and set up a meeting somewhere. Or maybe use a teltac. We will solve this problem.

Later. Right now we have more important things to do.

The future is looking good.


End file.
